


Boyfriends little sister

by UhmLikeWhet



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Carmilla is still in college, F/F, Laura works at a liquor store, Liquor store au, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:03:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3647928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UhmLikeWhet/pseuds/UhmLikeWhet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura is stuck between the Karnstein siblings. She can't have one and not the other and it kills her.<br/>She loves Carmilla... She really fucking loves her.. But she's engaged to her brother Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home-wrecker

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend listening to 'Iris' by: The Goo Goo Dolls while reading this.

Laura works at the liquor store down the block from Silas University. She gets A LOT of fake ID's and drunken teenagers coming in to buy liquor. To say that Laura's seen some crazy shit is an understatement. But she's never seen this:

Carmilla, Laura's boyfriend Will's, little sister strolled in wasted out of her mind. 

"Hey Laurasaur." Carmilla laughed at herself stumbling and hiccuping over to the counter where Laura stood dumbfounded. "What does an underage girl gotta do to get some alcohol these days?"

"LaF could you deal with the costumers please?" Laura tapped her coworker and best friend on the shoulder before giving Carmilla a death stare.

LaFontaine wore a questioning look noticing the not-so-friendly tension between the two. "Yea... Sure..." They turned back to the customer. "May I see your license please?"

Laura took Carmilla by the bicep and dragged her in the back room where the workers store their belongings and such. 

"Carmilla Karnstein, what are you doing here? And why are you intoxicated, you're only 19."

"It's all part of the college dream sweetheart." Carmilla pushed some papers off of a table and lay down on top of it, smiling to herself. 

"Carmilla. Seriously. You shouldn't be here." Laura closed the door and leaned against it.

"But you want me here don't you? You want me in your life don't you?" Carmilla slurred with an attitude closing her eyes.

Laura huffed bringing her hand to her head. "Carmilla..."

"No no I get it. You're dating my brother." She got up and sway her legs off the table. "You're _straight_." She mocked the last word with two fingers. 

"Carmilla, don't do this." Laura brought both of her hands up to hold her head while walking further into the room.

"Or what Laura." Carmilla got up swaying over to Laura. Laura held her breath when she smelled the alcoholics breath. "What are you going to do about it?" She backed Laura up against the wine rack. Laura didn't look frightened. She looked disappointed. She looked betrayed and hurt. "I fucking love you.. Laura." She backed away pointing in Laura's direction. "I know you love me too."

Laura let out her shaky breath and sunk to the floor, head in her hands.

"You can't just tell me that-that summer Will was in B-Berlin looking for a new college, didn't mean anything to you." Carmilla took a flask out of her leather pocket. "That's when our story began sweetheart." She moved her hands around sloppily gesturing every word. "Huh... Has it really been 2 years since he's left?" She looked around the room with a fake questioning look to her face. "Two year since we... Slept together? MULTIPLE TIMES!?!?" Laura started to cry listening to the younger girls words sting her heart. "Well look around now! He's there! You're here and so am I!" 

"Carmilla stop it! You know it was a mistake! You knew I was lonely!" Laura snapped screaming. 

Carmilla backed up against the table losing a bit of her footing. "You love me." She spat back coldly.

"Of course... I fucking love you... Carmilla." She said in shaky breaths returning her head to her lap. "HOW COULD I NOT?!" She screams wanting an honest answer.

Carmilla took a second to steady herself on the ground in front of Laura while processing all of the blondes words.

"But you're marrying Will and I'm here to rot away and to forget about." Carmilla lay on her stomach on the floor sipping from her flask, calming down a bit.

"Carmilla I could never forget about you." 

"But you choose him." Carmilla lay on her back now looking at the ceiling. 

"I don't have a choice." Laura's voice was muffled by her head in her lap.

"Everybody has a choice Laura." Carmilla got up choking back her tears. She took another swing and started towards the door and opened it. "The offer is still up for grabs. I'll be waiting for you. I've always waited." Carmilla finished dragging her feet out the door, slamming it behind her. "Don't worry about me. I'll call a cab." She hollered back.

Laura curled up in a ball on the floor.

She cried for a while.

She loves them both.

But she can't have both.

She hates Carmilla but she cant stop loving her.

She loves Will but she could never hate him.

Shes completely torn.

 

 

 

 

 

Shes broken...

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

_~And I don't want the world to see me._

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

_When everything's made to be broken,_

_I just want you to know who I am.~_

\- The Goo Goo Dolls


	2. Apologies and Welcome Wagons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Round two!! Enjoy!!
> 
> DING DING DING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend listening to Polaroid by: Imagine Dragons on repeat.

Laura sits at the front desk with her right elbow resting on the counter and her head in her hand. Her left shamelessly poked at the register, spitting back obnoxious noises.

_It's 3pm on a Wednesday. Who would buy alcohol at 3pm on a Wednesday?_

She's been feeling shitting about the whole encounter with Carmilla a week ago, and she hasn't heard from the raven locked girl since. Carmilla always knew how to interfere with her life, do something spontaneous, and then leave it without a word.

 _Spontaneous_. Yep, that's a great word to describe her with. 

Laura sighs out loud moving both her hands to her lap, sitting up straight. 

Shes working alone for right now. LaF is her only other coworker, while she's working, and they're attending classes until 4. Things get pretty lonely in here.

The bell on the door chimes. Laura welcomes them, but doesn't look up.

"Is that anyway to greet your boss?" The man continues walking to the front desk.

Laura's head shoots up and her eyes expand twice their normal size.

"Oh, gosh, Mr. Hannigan, I'm-"

"Relax, Laura." He puts out a hand and offers a small smile, placing that hand on the counter. "I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately." He starts tapping his fingers. "How are you feeling?" He replaces the smile with a concerning look.

"I'm great! Never better." She puts on a fake smile to reassure, before looking down at her nails, which she's picking at feverishly.

"Laura.." He raises a brow and shakes his head pointing up to the camera above his head. "I see all."

Laura shrugs. "It's just been a tough week, is all." She admits with a sigh.

He starts walking around to the other side of the desk. "I'm finished with my errands for today. Go home and rest. I don't need you scaring away the customers with your..  _tired greetings._ " He laughs placing a hand on her shoulder.

She looks up and sighs, going back to her original pouty mood. "Are you sure? I mean.. That would be great but..." She drags the words.

He releases his hold on her shoulder and walks into the backroom, returning a few moments later with her coat and pocketbook. 

Laura shrugs smiling, not quite to her eyes, taking her things. "Thanks Mr. Hannigan."

He doesn't accept it, instead shooing her off, saying he expects her back to her perky self for work tomorrow.

Laura walks out the front door with a huff. 

It's a crappy day. There's little sun poking through the clouds and wetness covers anything visible.

She puts on her jacket when the wind hits her, causing her to create goosebumps. While walking down the road, towards the college, she takes out a pack of cigarettes and sticks one in her mouth, searching for her lighter. 

Shes not much of a smoker, but when she's stressed, the need comes boiling up.

She finds the lighter and covers the end of the cigarette while lighting it. It takes a few tries, because of the wind, but it works and now she's standing at the bus stop in front of the university. 

She stands waiting for quite some time, smoking and shaking profusely, until it finally rolls up.

She smiles and nods at the people exiting, until the last person drags herself to the front of the bus.

 _Carmilla_.

Their eyes lock immediately. Carmilla just stands there holding the railing. Laura clears her throat and starts walking the other way.

It's only a half hour walk back to her and Will's apartment. Why not? She smokes again.

"Laura, Laura, wait." She hears foot steps  running up form behind her.

"I have nothing to say to you, Carmilla." She states with sarcasm, blowing the smoke out of her mouth in the process. She starts walking faster, giving Carmilla a tougher time of keeping up.

"Then just listen. I need to talk to you. I need to apologize." The younger girl grabs Laura's arm in attempts to slow her down, only to cause the blond to loose her footing and drop her cigarette.

Laura watches as the red embers die down from the puddle. "Great. Awesome. Thanks." She looks back at Carmilla, hitting her hands to her thighs.

Carmilla completely ignores what just happened in order to finish what she started. "Look, Laura, I really _am_ sorry ok?"

"Great, are we done now?" Laura turns back around but Carmilla runs in front of her, blocking her way. Laura huffs. "Don't you have class to attend?" 

"No, we're not done. We were never _done_." Laura shakes her head looking away from the brunette. Carmilla sways into Laura's view of sight. "Laura, I need to fix this. I don't usually apologize but I'm trying to for you so will you just shut up and listen?"

Shes right. Carmilla never apologizes. Even if she's a total bitch at the moment, she's doing something sweet which makes Laura's mood lift a little- wait, what? No it doesn't. She's mad. Pissed.

Laura shakes her head and clears her thoughts, listening.

"I know I'm not so good with the feelings thing, and the way I handled that was way out of hand." She throws her hands around gesturing every word. "But I'm not going to apologize for admitting my feelings for you after 2 years of hiding them." The younger wears a look of hurt, covering her right hand over where her heart would be. "I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve here for you, Laura."

Laura's eyes start to water as she looks anywhere but at Carmilla. _Damn wind._

"Look... I love you.. Like a lot.. And- Yeah, it sucks that you had to find out while I was.." She looks around looking for words. "Well, that.. But the point is, I did it. Finally. And I feel good for saying it. Like I said.. Shitty way of doing it.. But it's done. So... I apologize for the way it was handled." 

"Is that all?" Laura's voice trembles. The memories just keep flooding back to her. Good ones and bad ones. Every time she see's Carmilla, all she see's is hurt and love and sad and happy. When she looks at Will, she see's home. But she also see's Carmilla.

Carmilla shrugs. "Yeah.. I-I guess that's it." She slugs off in the other direction.

Laura turns quickly. "Carm, wait." Shes struggling _so_ hard to fight this feeling - to stop the pain and tears from pouring out. But she can't.

Carmilla turns with hope in her eyes.

"I just.. I don't know what to do." Laura hiccups wiping her nose with her sleeve.

Carmilla speed walks over and wraps Laura in her arms. Laura accepts the embrace and laces her gloved fingers around Carmilla's torso, letting the tears fall freely.

"You do whatever you need to do to feel whole again." Carmilla whispers in her ear before kissing her forehead.

"I feel whole when I'm with you. But.. I can't leave Will." Laura pulls away to look at Carmilla.

"What do you mean?" Her face is questioning. But her eyes are full of compassion and tears.

Something snaps in Laura and she closes up.

"I-I can't leave him. I can't ok?" She backs away from Carmilla slowly, never looking into her eyes and starts for her trek back home.

"Laura."

"Carmilla, go to class." 

 

 

That was the last thing Laura said before turning and walking the 30 minutes back to the apartment. She swears the puddles on the ground were from her. 

"So, that was harrowing." She cooed, unlocking her door.

She sunk to the floor, after shutting it behind her, with her head in her lap.

"I just can't leave him." Her voice muffled in her hands.

"Can't leave who?" A familiar voice came to focus.

Laura's head shot up in terror and distraught.

"Will, you're home." She got up quickly wiping her eyes.

He starts walking towards her slowly. 

"What? No big welcome party? No hug and kiss?" He stops in front of her. "No 'how was school'?"

"Sorry- I'm just so.. Excited you're back!" She hugged him close closing her eyes tight, wishing he could be anyone else right now. 

"Don't get too excited, babe." He pulls away from the hug and moves some hair from behind her ear. Laura flinches but ultimately tries her best to relax. "I'm only back for a little while. I get a week off for reading week." He kisses her head and goes to the fridge for a beer.

 _Shit_.

* * *

_~oh_

_How did it come to this?_

_oh_

_Love is a polaroid_

_Better in picture_

_But never can fill the void_

_Love is a polaroid [x4]~_

_-_ Imagine Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for it.. I'm planning on making this a short series. So thank's for the support and for reading and i hope you enjoyed it ^-^


	3. Marks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song suggested is Talk by Coldplay

She doesn't really leave the house while he's here. She can't. He won't let her. So for the next week and a half, Laura is hauled up in their shared apartment pretty much all day except for work and for grocery's.

He only hits her twice. But both times left a mark.

This is why she can't leave, this is why she can't tell anyone. She's afraid he'll kill her if she tried. 

Shes scared.

Laura figures he probably got it from his mother.. The abuse I mean.. Carmilla turned out just fine but.. Some people are stronger than others I presume.

When he goes back to school in Germany, Laura gets back to her normal self.

If she's being totally honest here, shes used to this kind of thing. He comes home for a few days or a week and she plays along with his little games to make him happy. But if she fucks up some how she'll be dodging flying plates and vases.

Shes never happy when he's home.

How could she be, living with a monster like that?

Hopefully someday he'll just stay in Germany and never come back.

If that were to happen, maybe things would be different with Carmilla.

Wait.. Carmilla?

No no she can't be thinking of her right now.

She shakes her head from the thought and feels a pain in her eye. She winces and lightly touches the swollen spot.

She has concealer over her left cheek bone covering one bruise. Thank god the one on her back isn't visible. That ones huge. Apparently T.V remotes can leave a perfect imprint if it's thrown hard enough. Buttons and all..

"Laura can you get a bottle of Gilli from the back for me? Perry's in the back with the delivery."

Laura quickly turns towards LaF who's stocking the shelves and feels a little light headed.

"Sure thing LaF." She smiles, walking to the back of the store with easy steps.

She opens the door and searches the shelf for the bottle of Gilli, a sweet red wine.

It's too high up so she gets a chair from the table and drags it over.

She takes a deep breath and climbs the chair.

After getting the bottle she steps down and loses her breath, stumbling with the bottle, to the table.

She catches herself with a huff and sinks to the floor, placing the bottle next to her.

Laura's not really much of a wine person. Come to think of it, she's not really much of a drinker.

The only reason she has this job is because she like the way the store smells and because her best friend works here.

But the shelves are too high for her to reach and she tries to analyze everyone walking in and it creates stress.

The store smells bittersweet and sour. If she had to choose her favorite drink it would be a cherry wine cooler. She likes the soft stuff. Wine coolers and Mike's Hard Lemonade.

As shes trying to keep the room from spinning, she hears the door open.

"Laura?"

"Really?" She whines.

She's been avoiding her as best she can.

Dodging her at super markets and taking late shifts just so that she could miss her at the bus stop.

She would be lying if she said she didn't want to see her. She does. I mean she admitted to loving her for crying out loud.

Carmilla loves Laura and Laura has always loved her back.

She puts the wine on the table with a huff and tries her best to stand.

That hit must have really done a number on her. She's been feeling off lately and now its come to bite her in the ass.

"You should've stayed home today Laura." She tells herself, giving up and sinking to the floor once more.

Carmilla calls for her again.

"Don't come back here, don't come back here, don't come-"

The door swings open and in walks Carmilla.

"What do you want Carmilla?" She brings her hands to her head.

Carmilla makes her way towards Laura. "I need to ta- hey what happened to your eye? And why are you on the floor?!?! Did you fall?!"

Laura internally panics, bringing her hands to rest on her lap as she stills.

Carmilla goes to help Laura up but withdraws her hands when she sees the look of annoyance Laura is giving her.

"It's my cheek and don't worry about it." She looks around the room, looking anywhere but into the younger girls worried eyes as she forces herself to a stance.

"Laura, you're hurt." Carmilla brings a hand up to caress Laura's face but the shorter girl backs away.

"Will's back isn't he?"

Laura starts to break. "C-Carmilla I said d-don't worry about it ok?" And with that, she makes her way to the front of the store with the wine for LaF.

Carmilla is hot on her trails. "Laura. You need to tell me if he's hitting you again."

Laura looks back at the other with sad eyes. "How did you know?"

Carmilla sighs, but ultimately lifts up her shirt a bit to show her very toned stomach with a scar going across it.

"Yeah, I've seen that scar before. What of it?"

"I never told you the source did I?"

Laura sighs resting her head and arms on the counter.

"Is there any other marks?"

She sniffles and she nods turning, lifting up her shirt from behind the counter to show her back.

"Oh my god." Carmilla panics, moving to get behind the counter to take a better look. "Laura this does not look good."

"Well I never said it was pretty." Laura sighs with a slight laugh.

Carmilla huffs letting Laura's shirt fall. "You need to leave him."

"Carm, I can't." Laura coos, cutting her off.

"Do you want to end up dead? Laura you're better off."

"I CAN"T!" She yells and she feels dizzy again.

LaFontaine walks in the front door with two boxes in their hands, followed by Perry with one.

Laura quickly turns away to control herself and steady her breaths as her vision starts to come back.

They seem to be having an interesting conversation while making their way to the back room, so they don't even notice whats going on behind the counter.

"Fuck love.. You need out."

"You think I still love him?" She turns around quickly, being able to remain calm enough to talk but ultimately sees stars and slugs to sit with her head to her knees on the floor.

"Laura, what is going on with you?" She sinks to the floor and kneels in front of Laura.  "Let's go, we need to get you home."

"No." She pushes Carmilla's helping hands away, knocking the girl over in the process and regulates her breathing. They're quiet for a bit until Carmilla sits criss cross in front of her and starts picking at her nails, patiently waiting for the other to talk. "After the first hit I had my suspicions. After the tenth I lost all feeling for him."

"Then why are you still with him?" Carmilla scoots closer to Laura, trying her best to comfort her.

Laura feels the tears coming back up. Shes been feeling that way quite often lately. 

"I'm scared." She confesses, lip in a tremble.

Carmilla sighs, bringing Laura into a warm, but awkward embrace due to their positions. "Laura that's no way to live." Her brows and lips in a frown.

Laura hugs closer to Carmilla. "I don't know what to do."

Carmilla sighs again, letting her head rest on top of Laura's.

"Did he leave for Berlin yet?"

Laura pulls away, wiping her nose and sniffling. "He left yesterday."

Carmilla is quiet for a second while she crouches, looking around the store for Laura's missing co worker.

"Look, I have an open couch if you want it."

Laura looks up at Carmilla. "I couldn't intrude."

Carmilla scuffs shaking her head. "You still don't get it." She smiles, helping Laura up slowly. "Laura, I don't want you continuing to get hurt." She grabs Laura's shoulder and squeezes lightly. "I can protect you."

"Yeah? And what about when he comes back." Laura wipes her eyes, wiping the make up off in the process.

She releases her grip on Laura's biceps. "That won't be for a while. We'll figure it out then." Carmilla whispers, smiling as she wipes the rest of the make up off of her cheek.

Laura smiles and whispers a thank you.

Carmilla kisses her forehead with a small smile. "Stay here, i'll go tell your friend that I'm taking you home and then we need to talk."

Laura nods, leaning herself on the counter.

Her head ache is back.

But maybe Carm is worth baring through the pain.

This girl could be good for her.

* * *

 

_~Oh brother I can't,_

_I can't get through._

_I've been trying hard to reach you_

_cause I don't know what to do_

_Oh brother I cant believe it's true._

_I'm so scared about the future_

_and I wanna talk to you._

_Oh I wanna talk to you."~_

Talk - Coldplay


	4. Getting somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song recommended: Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade

It’s been a little over a week.

Laura has a concussion but it isn't bothering her as much as it used to. 

The bruise on her back is healing quite nicely and she's been back at work after three days of absence.

Laura and Carmilla talked a lot that night. Laura told her about the years of abuse, fighting through tears and stomachaches and headaches. Carmilla think's she’s depressed, but she can't bring herself to tell her. Instead, she's been keeping a close eye on her. She even got LaFontaine's number from Laura's phone a few nights ago and has asked them to keep her in check on how Laura's doing at work.

She’s been staying with Carmilla for a few days now. She can't bare being in that house alone.

She’s still afraid he might just come back out of nowhere.

Things are going well here. She really missed her  _friend_.

"Pancakes are done." She hears a familiar voice say from across the apartment.

Laura sits up from her bed on the couch and sleepily stumbles over to the small two-seater table with a huge smile.

After what seems like ages of metal scraping glass, Laura decides to speak up.

"Hey." She stills her utensils on the side of her plate and looks up at Carm.

They make eye contact as the younger stuffs her face with a whole pancake.

"Hey." Carmilla mumbles back with a full mouth.

Laura takes a deep breath. "Thanks a lot of letting me spend a few days, and for making me breakfast every morning, and for... Well, for everything really." 

Carmilla tries her best to swallow as she grabs her glass of OJ and sips at it.

"It's really no big deal creampuff. Don't worry about it."

"But I do worry." Laura says, almost imminently. "I was.. Kind of a raging b-ad person to you before and I just wanted to say-"

"Laura, I get it. It's okay." Carmilla shoots her a look of understanding as she lowers her glass back to the table. Laura just smiles that makes Carmilla look away in a blush. "Now can we get back to our silent meal?"

The older girl sighs, ultimately cutting and eating the rest of her food.

-

They walk together in comfortable silence to the bus stop. They've been doing that a lot recently. Just being together in silence. Laura really does miss Carmilla. In ways, she really shouldn't.

They have a past. Had- a past. Had. As in over now.. And that makes Laura sad. She often thinks what life would have been like if she had never met Will. But, that means she never would have met Carmilla. She loves her. They've been over that already. 

Laura sighs, thinking about all these things.

Carmilla looks over with a questioning look. 

Laura returns the look with a smile.

They have silent conversations. An unspoken understanding. 

Laura lifts her hands to her pockets and shivers as they stop in front of the bus stop.

"Chilly today."

"Huh?" Laura side glances to the taller girl.

"I said its chilly today."

"Oh. Yeah." Laura half laughs, rubbing her hands together, making unneeded friction. This doesn't help. She needs heat. Real heat, or else she'll freeze out here.

"You okay there creampuff?"

"Yeah, just cold." Laura watches her breath turn into grey smoke, and then disappear into the atmosphere. 

Carmilla sighs, pulling Laura's hands to cup her lips. She blows warm air into Laura's palms, cupping her hands over the older girls.

They maintain eye contact the whole time. Laura doesn't notice she's holding her breath until she can't see it anymore.

Carmilla releases her hands, but she doesn't realize how close they are until.. There they are. Inches apart. Laura looks up into Carmilla's eyes, noticing Carmilla looking down to her lips.

_Don't do it Laura. This is not a good idea._

But then.. Carmilla's gloved fingertips come up to move some loose hair behind Laura's ear and she finds herself starting to lean in...

She hears the screech of the tires and the breaks and Laura clears her throat and backs away. 

Carmilla suddenly looks small and vulnerable.

Laura feels bad. She really does. She want's this. If anything she needs it. It's just... The timing is all wrong.

So again, the sit in silence. It's not even comfortable. Nothing about this situation is comfortable. 

Will it ever be comfortable?

Laura finds herself coming out of a daydream when the bus stops and Carmilla is rushing to get off.

"Wh-Hey." Laura calls out.

She's stuck behind a group of stragglers as she looks out the windows to see Carmilla's scrunched expression, hand clenching to her messenger bag, storming off to the university.

Laura takes a deep breath and counts to 5 in her head before getting upset again.

 _Give her space._  She thinks.

-

They haven't talked all day. Laura really didn't think much about the encounter either. Valentine’s Day is coming up faster than she’s expected so the shop was busy today.

It was a good escape for a little while. But now she's at Carmilla's apartment alone. She wasn't at the bus stop after work. Carmilla always waits for her. She starts to feel guilty about the whole encounter. Would she have kissed her if the bus hadn't interrupted? Probably. No- most likely. No. She definitely would have.

This past week has drawn her closer to Carmilla in so many ways. Emotionally and physically. They hug now. That's always nice. Laura likes hugs. They laugh now. nothing seems as awkward as it used to be. Laura doesn't hate her like she used to.

To be truthful, Laura never heated her. Carmilla was just a distraction; a daydream about a life she could and wants to have. But then there's will. She loves will. She does. 

She hasn't completely lost feeling for him. He was her first.. Everything. They were high school sweethearts. He didn't introduce her to his family until the end of senior year, where she met his sister, but they were serious.

He went to university here at Silas for two years, and then transferred to Germany on a boxing scholarship. Explains all the dark, dark bruises doesn't it? 

Will's an angry guy. He grew up abused and bullied by his mother and so he started to lash out on his little sister as he grew. He would put up this facade for so long. This image of the perfect guy, perfect boyfriend and friend and student. Nobody knew about his abusive side. Only Laura, but little did she know Carmilla was receiving the same abuse from him and their mother.

The first time he hit her, they were in 11th grade. They had an argument about which color would look best on their matching dress and tuxedo to prom. 

Laura learned to never argue with him after that. 

That first strike must have felt good because after that they kept coming.

Laura's snapped out of her thoughts as the front door slams shut.

She closes the magazine she meant to be reading and looks at the source of the starting noise. 

"Sorry cupcake." Carmilla fights with her boots as she kicks them off.

Laura huffs and looks at the time on her phone.

"Carmilla, its 11pm. Where were you?"

"Who are you? My mom?" Carmilla spits, walking past Laura to the kitchen. 

Laura sighs, getting up off the couch to follow Carmilla to the kitchen, where she finds her downing a half a carton of milk in one breath.

Laura closes her eyes and shakes her head with a small sarcastic chuckle. "You’re drunk." She shrugs and rests her hand on the counter with a small slap.

"Ding ding ding." Carmilla laughs, throwing the empty carton back in the fridge.

"You do know it's a Thursday night right? You have classes tomorrow."

"Well don't you catch on fast?" Carmilla struts passed Laura, take piece by piece of clothing off and throwing them to the floor.

Laura follows, annoyed, as she picks up her clothes and throws them in the hamper in Carmilla's bedroom.

"I just don't understand why you do this to yourself." Laura shakes her head in disappointment, not looking at the drunk, instead making her way to her closet to pick out a night shirt.

"I do it to get away sweetheart."

Laura sighs, throwing Carmilla a shirt, which she happily takes her time in putting in on. "Away from what?" She throws her hands in the air and settles them back on her hips. 

"Ah-ah-ahhhh." She shakes a finger. "I've already said too much." She giggles.

"That literally doesn't explain anyth-"

Carmilla slowly takes a flask out of her drawer and goes to take a swing.

"-okay, no." Laura rushes over and takes it from her."

Carmilla sits on her bed. "Fine, party killer."

Laura sits next to her with a sigh.

"What is up with you today?"

"I'm sad." Carmilla frowns.

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't you kiss me earlier?"

Laura's annoyed expression starts to fade as she realizes she doesn't have an answer.

"Okay." Laura stands up. "We can have this conversation another time. Maybe when you're not piss drunk, yeah?"

Carmilla grabs her wrist and pulls her back down.

She takes a deep breath and rushes her arms to wrap around Laura gentle torso.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, her head buried in between Laura's head and shoulders.

"That's okay." Laura reassures, patting Carmilla's back.

As she pulls away, Carmilla's eyes start to droop as she smiles.

"Get some sleep Carm." 

She lays down with a smile and sighs.

Laura goes over to the doorway and shuts the light off.

"Hey Laura?"

Laura half turns, placing her hand on the doorframe.

"Yeah?" She replies, almost a whisper.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" 

She can't see Carmilla but she can tell she’s not herself. Not even because of the alcohol, but because she is upset.

Laura doesn't say anything. Instead, walking over to the other side of the bed and laying under the covers.

After a few moments of silence, Carmilla turns and curls herself into Laura's side.

"Thanks." She whispers.

"Yeah. No problem." Laura whispers back.

She hears Carmilla start to snore soundly and she smiles. Maybe this thing.. Whatever they could be, or already are, won't be so bad.

"I love you." Laura whispers into her hair, her arm wrapped closely around Carmilla's side.

Carmilla smiles. She makes the decision to stay silent and pretend to be asleep.. But she hears her. She know's Laura needs time, and she respects that. So she'll remain quiet and bring it up at another time.

 

* * *

 

_~ This is not what I intended._

_I always swore to you I'd never fall apart._

_You always thought that I was stronger._

_I may have failed,_

_But I have loved you from the start._  
  
_But hold your breath_

_Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again._

_Don't make me change my mind._ _~_

\- Secondhand Serenade


	5. Lucky number 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick little update.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recomended song, All this time by One Republic

Laura wakes up to something tickling her nose. She bats it away with her hand, but to no avail. She gives in to the day and stretches out her bones only to be weighed down by something on top of her. She has yet to open her eyes but she knows exactly what it is weighing her down. Or who.. She smiles as she opens her eyes to see Carmilla curled up into her side. She also sees the source of her itch and moves the younger girls hair to rest behind her ear.

She reaches into her pocket to the empty feeling of not having her phone with her.

"Fuck." She whispers, remembering its inside on the side table next to the couch. Her bed. Why is she in here? She should be in there.

She's in here because Carmilla asked her to be. She's in here because she want's nothing more than to love and protect her, even when she's being impulsive and getting  trashed on a school night. Nevertheless, that is just how Carmilla is and Laura understands that. She likes that.

But she really needs to get her phone. She doesn't know what time it is and she has an early shift today.

She looks at Carmilla, brows in a frown, as she's sleeping soundly on Laura's chest.

She remembers waking up to Carmilla like this. She misses this. Clothed or not. Well, let’s stick with clothed for now.. But she misses this. She misses her. Of course, she sees her every day, but it's just not the same.

She misses the stolen kisses and the secret letters and the driving lessons and secret hideaways. Sure the last time they did anything intimate was when Carmilla was just a teenager but.. It seems like it all just happened.

Everything is hitting her at once. She love's Carmilla. She told her last night instead of screaming it at her. Sure Carmilla was asleep but... She got the words out. Those words have been trapped inside of her for long two years. Her love for this girl does not compare. 

Carmilla yawns and rubs her sleepy eyes.

"Hey." Laura whispers.

"Hey." Carmilla smiles, finally opening her eyes. Her eyes bug as she jumps up and scurries to the other side of the bed. "Oh my god I'm so sorry..." She trails off as she watches Laura laughing. "What's so funny?"

Laura calms down and sits up facing the confused girl. "Why are you freaking out?"

"Why aren't you?" Carmilla looks away for a second before meeting Laura's eyes.

Laura's smile fades. Why isn't she freaking out? Her feelings are so mixed up. They have been lately. Her feelings for this girl are bi-polar at best and she cannot control it.

Laura looks down. Everything is hitting her at once. All these feelings and a new one. A want. A need. She's felt this before. She felt it once last night when she said those three words. Then she looks up at Carmilla.

Carmilla's who’s been patient with her for almost a month. Carmilla whose taken her into her home when she's fine on her own, just because of the simple fact that she loves her and she doesn't want her to be alone. Carmilla who is looking down at her lips the same time she's looking down at hers.

Laura scrunches her brows and parts her lips. From across the bed she can see Carmilla biting her lip and looking up into Laura's eyes.

She doesn't know why but she starts crawling towards Carmilla.

She watches as Carmilla chest starts to rise and fall a little faster. She realizes hers doing the same.

Once Laura's seated in front of her, she takes a second to search her eyes for any disapproval.

"I'm going to do something." Laura says, lifting her left hand slowly, to rest on Carmilla's cheek.

Carmilla nod slowly, rubbing her cheek on Laura palm. She closes her eyes to savor the feel of Laura's skin on hers before she opens her eyes again.

Laura's eyes flicker up to Carmilla's dilated pupils, before pushing her hand to wrap around the small of Carmilla's neck. She brings her forehead to rest on Carmilla's as her breath picks up a little more and her heart beats a little faster. She closes her eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asks, moving her forehead up a little further so their noses are touching.

Carmilla doesn't answer, instead takes the opportunity to speed up the process as she takes a deep breath in and pulls Laura in the rest of the way by her cheeks.

Laura's right arm wraps around Carmilla's back as their lips meet for the first time in two years.

 

* * *

 

 _~_   _All this time we were waiting for each other._

_All this time I was waiting for you._

_Got all this love, can't waste it on another._

_So I'm straight in a straight line running back to you. ~_

-One Republic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFF HANGERRRRRRRR
> 
> Plus, next chapter will be the final chapter. Sadly, this fic needs to come to an end. Next chapter will be longer than usual to make up for this short chapter. Hopefully we go out with a bang :) thanks for the on-going support guys!! <3


	6. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it literally took forever.. i made it a bit longer to try to make up for it :/ :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recomended song is Shattered by Trading Yesterday

Laura hums and detaches her lips from her past. She keeps her eyes closed and her arm firmly pressed against Carmillas back. 

The two stay sitting in the same position for a bit, just taking each other in; taking it what just happened. 

Carmilla's fingertips move the hair that's fallen on Laura's cheeks to behind her ears once again.

Laura finally breathes and backs away, but when she does tears start falling freely.

"Oh, Laura whats wrong?" Carmilla is quick to comfort her with fingers to wipe her tears but Laura pushes her hands away softy.

"Please don't" Laura sniffles. She gets up and starts to walk away before turning in the door frame. "I'm-" she sniffles "-I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have done that.."

"Laura wait!" Carmilla is quick to jump and chase after the girl who is opening the front door. 

She makes it there in time to slip in front of the door and stop Laura from leaving. "Laura, you cannot leave me again." Carmilla whispers, feeling the tears prickling in her eyes.

Laura shrugs and backs away. "What do you expect me to say, Carm?" She folds her arms and scrunches her face.

"Say that you'll stay.." Carmilla smiles hopeful and walks towards Laura with open arms. Laura scuffs and turns her back towards Carmilla.

Why is the doing this? Has Will really hurt her that bad that she can't trust anyone to open her heart too? Carmilla's different. She knows that.

Carmilla shakes her head and scuffs too. "So that's it huh?" She waits for an answer. Laura stays quiet biting her fingernails, still facing the opposite way. Carmilla bites her lip with a smirk. "So.. Last night you tell me you love with for the first time without screaming it at me, then you kiss me and now you're leaving me?" She steps closer to Laura. "That's not fair."

Laura turns around quickly, realizing Carmilla heard her but not noticing the lack of space until she is inches away from the forbidden fruit. She looks at Carmillas lips and then back up and her eyes.

"I'm not letting you slip through my fingers again, Laura." Carmilla's firm with her words. Her jaw is clenched so tight, Laura swears she could cut glass with that jawline.

She can see the feeling in Carmillas eyes. If she looks close enough she swears she can see the universe. She trusts Carmilla, she does. But she can't risk Will coming home and seeing them. Not again. Not after what happened all those years ago.

"I don't want this." She lies through gridded teeth. "You were just.. looking at me in that way and-and.. "

"Laura don't!" Carmilla takes a deep breath and backs away a bit. "Don't bull shit me. You want this." She points to the ground between them.

Laura huffs out a laugh and swiftly wipes an eye with the back of her hand. "What even is this, Carm?.." She cocks her head and shakes it, hands on her hips.

Carmilla silent for a second while she thinks. Laura's right. What are they? Where do they go from here? 

"Yeah... Me neither.." Laura whispers.

Carmilla steadies her gaze on the floor as Laura makes her way around the apartment to grab a couple of things and then to the front door with her coat in her arm.

"I'll see you around."

"Laura please.." Carmilla clenches her eyes shut as three tears go plummeting to the ground.

And the door slams.

 

  

Carmilla hasn't come around to see Laura in almost two weeks.

Laura's been staying home... Alone.. This is the first time she's been alone in nearly a month. And sure without Will there she'd been home alone from months on end but.. Something seems different. The atmosphere here is filled with hatred and regret and fear and she just wants to be back in Carms arms. 

So why is she doing this to herself? She'd been asking herself the same question for these two weeks she's been alone. 

She's not at the bus stop after work.. She's not at the grocery store.. LaF hasn't even heard anything from the raven haired girl and they had just started to become friends, or acquaintances at least.

So why has Laura decided to break her heart once again?

Maybe it's just not meant to be.

 

 

But that kiss..

Laura hasn't felt anything like that in a long time. 

She felt loved. She missed that feeling. That's a feeling not even Will could provide for her, even before the beatings.

Her kisses just didn't compare.

Maybe it's the softness of a woman's lips?

Or the comfort of her touch?

Whatever it may be, Laura knew she couldn't let that go.

So what changed?

Why did she run?

Why does she continue to run?

 

 

It's Valentines Day and she's sitting at home, in her batman onesie watched reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, "The one with the candy hearts".

She usually buys chocolates the day after because that's when they go on sale, but this year she was prepared. She knew she'd be especially sad this year.

As she's watching, she starts to feel sorry for herself. She knows she deserves better than Will. Carmilla is a million times better than he'll ever be. But now she starts to think about what he'll do to her the next time he comes back and catches them again.

But Carmilla can take care of herself. She has been for a while now. She doesn't take bullshit from anybody. Laura of all people should know that.

Carmilla chases her. She knows she can have her if she tries hard enough. So why stop now? Why isn't she chasing? Isn't this the part where Laura's door bell goes off and there's Carm with a bouquet of roses and a dumb teddy bear; one of those scented ones that smells like butterscotch?

But then Laura thinks.. Maybe she's waiting for her turn.

Laura hasn't done anything besides fuck things up between them. Maybe Carm has given up because she knows she could do better, and God could she do better than Laura.

The thought of Carmilla with another woman prettier than Laura, younger than Laura and smarter than Laura makes her sad. 

But why does it make her sad?

It's Laura's fault.

She knows its her fault.

Laura huffs and shut the T.V. off.

"Lets go Hollis, let's get your girl back!"

 

 

 

Last minute flower shopping didn't come as easy or romantic as Laura had hoped for, and ToysRUs was closed so she couldn't buy her a stupid teddy bear that smelled of butterscotch.

The next best thing were roses that had started to wilt and a claw machine bear Laura had spent an hour trying to get from a game in her local movie theater. 

The whole bus ride to Carm's was frustrating enough without some kid kicking the back of her seat. 

Luckily her nervous shaking and thoughts provided her the perfect distraction from the little buggers teasing.

 

Laura made it to Carm's apartment at approximately 9:54 pm. 

Hopefully Carmilla would still be awake.

Laura shakes the nervous out of her before putting on a smile and knocking on the door.

"Coming." She hears from the other side.

Laura's smile drops as she contemplates doing this whole thing, so she hides what she has behind her back as the front door comes swinging open with Carmilla standing in a bathrobe.

She looks nervously over her shoulder. "Oh, Laura, hi! Look now's not really a good time."

"Shhh just shh. I-I brought you-" Laura's smile comes back as she starts moving her arms when she hears a door close from inside the appartment.

Carmilla sighs and looks down.

"Is someone here?" Laura continues to smile in shockas she tries to look past Carmilla.

"Who's at the door babe?"

Laura bites her lip. "Right." She nods, a bit hurt.

"Nobody its just, Ell hang on."

A girl in nothing but a towel opens the door a bit more and raises an eyebrow, looking Laura up and down.

This girl looks intimidating, Laura thinks.

"Hi, I'm Ell. What can we help you with?" The girl smiles and wraps an arm around Carmilla's shoulders.

Of course she knows whats going on.. Nice one Hollis.

And wow, she really is everything Laura isn't. Tall, beautiful, probably smart, bottle blonde.

Carmilla's still looking down. She can't bare to meet either girls eyes.

Laura smiles again and wipes a tear from her eyes, revealing the flowers.

"Oh, flowers, how nice.." Ell smiles and takes them from Laura. "Is she a friend of yours, babe?"

"Ell, just.."

"Oh, no." Laura giggles. "I just-uh. Saw them outside your door on my way to my apartment and-uh... Well, I just thought it would be a nice surprise." Laura showed a fake giggle and handed over the bear, making sure Carmilla made eye contact. "You two seem like a lovely couple." Laura spits through gridded teeth. 

"It was nice to meet you, uh.."

"Laura." Laura nods.

"Laura.. How pretty.." She smiles warmly. "Welp, imma gonna go put these in some water! Don't be long sweetie." Ell kisses Carmilla's cheek and walks off.

It's silent for a second before Laura scuffs. "Wow, isn't she just something else.."

"Laura.." Carmilla reaches out a hand to take the others.

"You know what? Don't, okay? Just don't." Laura turns to leave.

"Jesus Christ." Carmilla huffs, slamming the front door, storming off after the crying girl. "What did you expect cupcake?! Huh?!" Laura turns angrily with tears staining her face. "You walked out on me!" She screams, pointing at herself.

Laura didn't have an answer. 

She waited too long. She shouldn't have waited at all. She broke this poor girls heart again and she knows it.

"I don't know okay?!" She screams back.

The girls both jump at the sound of thunder.

They take a second to calm down before it starts to drizzle. 

"Look, come in, I'll make you some hot chocolate and call you a cab okay?"

Laura scuffs. "You're really gonna invite me in to have a cup of cocoa with her?!" Laura points back to the apartment building.

"Then I'll just call you a cap, come on it's freezing and it's gonna start to downpour soon."

"Oh no, I'm good." Laura sticks out a hand and starts to turn away.

"So you're just gonna walk?"

Carmilla looks up at the rain coming in a bit heavier now. Laura huffs and see's her breath come out in big angry puffs. She reminds herself to breath slowly and to stay calm.

"Yup!" She yells back.

Didn't work.

"Then I'll walk with you." Carmilla jogs to keep up.

"In a bathrobe?" Laura chuckles. "Don't do me any favors. You wouldn't want to keep miss perfect waiting." She coos the last bit.

"Laura don't call her names." Carmilla sighs. "You don't even know her." 

The thunder starts roaring again and the downpour starts.

"And you do?!" Laura turns her full attention towards the other, noting how sickly wet she has become. This girl is out here fighting with her and she could be getting sick and that would be all Laura's fault and now Laua's feeling really bad about herself and her actions and she cant stop thinking about it and-

Laura gets worried and shakes her head from the thoughts. "Carm, I know you better then her." She points her hand to the apartment building where she see's Carmilla's lights still on. "And I know for _sure_ she isn't your type." Laura scuffs and turns back around, completely ignoring the well being of the one shes furious with right now.

"Why because she isn't you?" Carmilla answers back coldly, stopping in her tracks. Laura scuffs to try to hide the pain in her chest. That hurt her bad. "You know what? I'm done waiting around for you Laura."

"But I'm here now Carm!" She spins around fast again, this time screaming so loud it hurts her lungs. She didn't mean to say that. She doesn't want to sound weak and vulnerable like she's become."I AM HERE!" 

Both girls are practically soaking like they've just climbed out of a swimming pool, both shivering. Carmilla still only in a bathrobe, and Laura with a sweater and bluejeans that have each stuck closely to their bodies. 

"Carmilla, honey come back, its poring out." Carmilla turns to Ell standing in the doorway, Laura looks past Carmilla to see her standing there with a cup of something hot in her hands. Laura squints her eyes to see its her blue tardis mug. 

"I'll be back in a second." She yells back.

Laura looks from the house to Carmilla and back to the house. "Of course." She huffs. "Why couldn't I see it before?" Laura shrugs turning to leave once again. 

"See what, Laura?" Carmilla still walks to keep up."

"Carmilla!" Ell calls again.

"See that you've moved on so quickly." Laura's voice breaks as she talks through the tears. She hadn't known the difference between her tears and the rain because her face had become numb from the cold. But not she can really feel the pain.

"Carmilla!" She calls once again.

"Fucking hold on!" Carmilla yells back. She huffs and then face's Laura again. "You really think I've moved on that fast?"

Laura is silent.

"You have had my heart for two fucking years Laura! I am out here with you, freezing my ass off, not in there with her." She angrily points back to the house without looking back.

The thunder claps again and a strike of lightening lights up the sky.

"But." Laura sniffs and wipes her nose with her wrist.

"But nothing Laura." Carmilla says, speed walking to Laura and capturing her lips in a kiss, before she can speak again.

Laura melts.

They hear the front door slam but they don't care.

They may have a few minor or major kinks to work out, but they have each other for support.

Laura got her girl.

 

 

 

**THE END**

 

 

 

* * *

 this song inspired the fic. I hope you liked it ^-^

**"Shattered"**

 

 

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding._  
_Fall into your sunlight._  
_The future's open wide, beyond believing._  
_To know why, hope dies._  
_Losing what was found, a world so hollow._  
_Suspended in a compromise._  
_The silence of this sound, is soon to follow._  
_Somehow, sundown._

_And finding answers._  
_Is forgetting all of the questions we called home._  
_Passing the graves of the unknown._

_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading._  
_Illusions of the sunlight._  
_And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting._  
_With love gone, for so long._

_And this day's ending._  
_Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know._  
_Knowing that faith, is all I hold._

_And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand._  
_Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on._  
_But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning._  
_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart._  
_Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent._  
_All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain._  
_All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over._  
_There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones._  
_To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all. [x2]_

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding._  
_Fall into your sunlight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. I'm sorry it literally took forever to upload. But yeah... That's it.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please, please, please listen to 1000 hands by Fifth harmony on repeat while reading this. It's satisfying to listen while reading this. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMlTd3deN8M )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smerrrrrt  
> (Smut)

I wake up to a tickle on my nose. Barley awake, I bat it away only to have it return seconds after. I keep up the bat and itch, while sleep starts to fade and reality starts to kick in.

As I finally get the tickle to subside, I open my eyes and take in my surroundings.

I look to my right where the apartment window is open, blowing wind through the curtains causing a chill in the otherwise warm bedroom.

I try to shift with an uncomfortable kink in my shoulder and dead weight on my upper body. I smile taking in a deep breath through my nose to be met with non-other than Carmilla's Herbal Essences smelling hair draped over my naked chest. 

"Cupcake, you're staring again." Carmilla's raspy morning voice mutters. 

My smile only widens as I blush away and subconsciously try to pat down her wild bed head.

It's been nearly 4 months since our last fight in the rain. After Ell slammed the door shut and locked it, Carmilla had to sneak in through her bedroom window where I then proceeded to hear a lot of screaming and shattered glass (rip tardis mug) and another slammed door, where I then witness Ell flicking me off before jogging in the direction of the parking lot. Since then, I've moved in and Carmilla and I have been stronger and happier than ever. She even lets me watch Harry Potter on her bedroom T.V. when she's pretending to take a nap, but in actuality is secretly watching along and enjoying it as much as I.

"It's kind of impossible not to." I argue back with a short-lived giggle.

I feel her cheek tighten on my abdomen, letting me know she's smiling, which of course, only leads to a wider grin on my end.

It's moment's like this that I'm grateful for Will's departure back to Germany, where I've recently been told he would be staying for good.

It's also moment's like this where I'm grateful to be undoubtedly in love with my boyfriend’s little sister.

Could he even still be considered my boyfriend? All I had gotten on his end was a text message applying an apology and a "See ya on the flip side" from the college student. Nonetheless, I'm grateful for right now, where I am, in my girlfriends bed, with said girlfriend hugging my torso greedily and a little last night on these sheets.

She takes a deep breath and starts to sit up, stretching her arms high above her head and arching her back, giving me a full view of every naked curve and crevice of her perfect body. 

I take the small amount of time that I have to shamelessly gawk at her.

God, why does she have to be so beautiful? Anybody with eyes can see how effortlessly flawless she is. But, you see, the thing is.. She's not exactly flawless. 

She has small stretch marks around her hips where her backside has obviously grown into her body. The bits and pieces of childhood scars line her legs, but most have faded due to time and cover up. She was always a thrill seeker, running into the woods barefoot or climbing over wired fences as a teenager. 

As she's settling onto her knees, I scoot closer closing my hands around her hips and pulling her into my lap where I place a chaste kiss upon her smiling lips, simultaneously running my fingers along the scar a little above her belly button. Yet another perfect imperfection. Maybe not done by her own hands or reckless behavior as an immature teen, but a mark of a fighter nonetheless. 

The thing is, people hear it all the time how nobody’s perfect, and it's true. No one is. But the beauty of that - of somebodies undoubted insecurities - is it only takes one person... One person to make them feel beautiful and to find that confidence within themselves every time they remind them of how utterly, unimaginably gorgeous that person is. 

She may have marks, but so do I. And I love her even more for having them.

I love her even more for letting me see them, letting me kiss and touch and admire them. 

Because to me her marks show everything she's been through, what we've been through. 

And in this moment, I couldn't be more content with how she's played this humongous role in my life.

And in this moment, I have no doubt in my mind that this beautiful, strong, imperfect woman sitting in my lap isn't my soulmate.

As our lips disconnect and her hands that were once cupping my cheek, wrap around my neck, I smile looking into her eyes where I see her smile falter and her eyes turn to some of concern.

"Laura," She brings her thumb to my face and whips a stray tear rolling off my smiling cheek, "Baby, why are you crying?"

"Because," I shrug and sniffle, "I've never been happier in my entire life." I see her pearly white teeth making their appearance through arching lips.

She kisses me again, humming contently. "You're so sappy." She whispers into my lips.

"Well, that's just because I love you so god damn much." I whisper back, biting her bottom lip playfully.

We may be in bed naked together, but nothing about this moment is lustful or provocative in any manner. 

Her sheer giggle only furthers that point as she scrunches her nose and rubs ours together. 

"Well, I can say with certainly that I feel the same way, just..." She pauses to "think" for a moment, tilting her head up in mock emphasis before scratching her fake beard. "Maybe just a _liiiittle_ bit more." She then concludes focusing on my eyes once again.

The amount of love and affection I feel from her in this moment can only be described as untouchable. Untouchable because nobody else has the pleasure of knowing her in this state like I do. I've broken down her walls. She's let me in completely and 100 percent. All past predicaments aside, she's only mine to touch in any form of the word.

She's not same bad-ass punk nobody wants to mess with. I don't even know who that person is anymore. I don't want to know that person anymore. I want this person, I want the untouchable. I want the sweet, pure, blissful side of Carmila Karnstein, the side only I get to be dominant and greedy over.

"Impossible." I deadpan, trying my best to hide my smile as best I can.

"Hmm." She squints her eyes, clearly catching onto my playful manor. "Maybe you should prove to me just how much you love me, cupcake." She husks, closing in on my lips with her own.

I hum into the contact and wrap my arms tighter around her back.

"I would be delighted, my love." I rasp, watching her subtle lip bite as I switch our positions to have her laying softly under me.

Once I settle her down, I kneel between her legs; bring both hands up her body to rest on her cheeks as I connect our lips once again.

This time she moans into the contact, sending a bolt of white heat into the pits of my abdomen, where I take the opportunity to slip my tongue into her inviting mouth.

A few minutes of heated kissing and roaming hands later we pull away to catch our breathes as she looks deep into my eyes.

"Make love to me, Laura." She all but grunts eagerly. 

I only nod, positioning one leg between her already separated thighs.

I connect our lips again as I push myself up to rest my elbows on either side of Carmilla's head for support.

Slowly, I start to rock my body against her own, feeling how into the moment she is on my bare thigh.

"God, Carm, you're so wet." I pant, trailing slow kisses around her neck and jawline.

She only moans in response, to which I smirk to myself and tilt her chin down to reconnect our lips.

She's moved her right hand from my back to tangle in my hair as the other drags her sharp nails up my back.

I hiss in response, disconnecting our lips for a second to hear her whimpered apology. 

I only reciprocate by kissing the spot I know drives her crazy behind her ear as I grind our bodies a little harder together, earning a breathy moan from the body underneath mine.

"Jesus Laur I'm-" I cut her off by slowing my motions. As much as I would love to see her unravel underneath me again in the past 24 hours, I really want to savor this moment.

Therefore, with my intentions clear, I start to lower my kisses to her chest as her skin starts to form goosebumps in anticipation. She knows where this is going. However, I'm going to make her wait. I want her to be utterly satisfied once I'm done with her, so with that in mind, I close my lips around a hardened nipple as she whimpers and starts to grind her sex into my, now stomach from the new position.

I take one of her hands in mine and lock our fingers as my journey continues down ward. 

I leave a trail of wet kisses under her belly button after making sure to kiss every inch of the scar above it.

She removes her hand from my hair as I unlock our fingers to wrap my arms around her thighs, connecting both of our fingers once more before meeting her hungry eyes. 

She nods once before smiling and cringing her nose while sticking her tongue out at me.

"Fucking dork." I huff out a laugh as I hear her slight chuckle before it gets interrupted by a moan while I run my tongue through her dripping core.

"Fuck, baby don't stop." Her grip on my hands only tighten as I watch her throw her head back in pleasure.

I smile against her sex before closing my eyes and enjoy the taste her body provides.

I continue lapping her center a little while longer before submerging my tongue inside of her without warming.

"Jesus baby, please-" and then she goes quiet for a second while I feel her walls tighten around my muscle. I moan in satisfaction to the feeling as I open my eyes to see her biting her bottom lip, watching me from her pillows. 

_Jesus, what a heavenly view._

She shakes and shudders as I pull out and lick around while she rides out her high.

"Come here." She demands, pulling me up by our - still conjoined - hands as I settle on her chest and hug her torso.

"I love you." I state, drawing a heart with my finger over her collarbone.

She's quiet as I look up.

She's staring at me oddly, as if she's having an internal epiphany.

And then I hear it.

Those two words.

"Marry me."

Now it's my turn to be quiet. 

I've heard those words play in my head a million times.

I've imagined how I would hear them a million more.

I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life when I answered back confidently,

"Okay."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**"1000 Hands"**

 

 

  
**_Tired, tired, you're all I want, yeah_ **  
**_It'll be 'til the end, give me nothing I've ever tried_ **  
**_It'll be the perfect sin, something like the truest lie_ **  
**_Everywhere somehow, the only place I'll ever be_ **  
**_As long as you hold me down, oh such a liberty_ **

**_Warm me with your touch, pressure from your fingertips_ **  
**_Never be enough, I'll do nothing but submit_ **

**_I just wanna feel a thousand hands from you, only you_ **  
**_Can you make me feel a thousand hands from you, only you?_ **

**_Grab a hold of my soul and make me feel complete within_ **  
**_you'll be the one to show these goosebumps on my skin_ **  
**_I'll wear my heart on my sleeve, I need you to feel the pain_ **  
**_Would you take a bullet for me? Cause you know I'll do the same_ **

**_Warm me with your touch, pressure from your fingertips_ **  
**_Never be enough, I'll do nothing but submit_ **

**_I just wanna feel a thousand hands from you and only you_ **  
**_Can you make me feel a thousand hands from you and only you?_ **

**_I just want to feel a thousand, from you_ **  
**_A thousand hands from you_ **  
**_Just wanna feel a thousand_ **  
**_A thousand hands from you_ **  
**_Feel a thousand hands from you_ **

 

 

**-Fifth Harmony**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now this is the end :P thanks for sticking around guys <3


	8. Sequel?

This isn't another chapter, I'm sorry don't hurt me!! 

This is more of a chat room type thing for talk of a sequel. I mean, do you guys want one?? I kind of have an idea I'm running with but I want to know you guys are interested before I do anything. Y'all know I value your feedback and advise and stuff haha. 

So let me know??? Also, I don't know if ive ever told you guys my name?? I mean it doesn't really matter much but even in other stories I've talked with a few people and idk, I mean I consider you guys my friends ^-^ soooo my name is Ashley, for anyone who cares XD 

and yeah... Sequel??

let me know in the comments 

<3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is one of my favorite shorts I've written so far. Love sucks. But that's reality for some unlucky victims.


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